Type F(acebook)-

I will admit that I'm addicted to Facebook.  And my smartphone.  And my Nook.  There should really be a 12-step program for people like me... with little chips that mark accomplishments, and little chants...

"God grant me the serenity to accept when chat doesn't work on Facebook, the courage to go 30 minutes without checking my messages, and the wisdom to know when to not upload that picture from the party last weekend that's on my smartphone."

We are such a socially anemic generation.  We can't get enough of the social network sites, smartphone applications or blogs (You wince because you are reading one now, but you know I’m right).  We have smartphones and tablets and crazy Apple devices, all of which link us inextricably to everything and anything our little hearts desire.  We might as well have little IV’s inserted in our arms with bags of Type F(acebook)- slowly dripping in.

We have smartphones with a million applications and widgets.  We can play Words with Friends (which I do religiously everyday) and Angry Birds (I really hate those damn green pigs…) and read books from our Nook (which I also do quite regularly).  In fact, I’m currently reading Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me and I must say, I love that classy broad!  Mr. H. regularly questions why I even have a Nook if I’m just going to read my books on my smartphone.  Well first of all Sir, you can’t have a Nook account on your smartphone without first purchasing a Nook and registering it.  So there… (imagine I’m sticking out my tongue like a 6 year old that just got away with shoving her sister behind her Mother’s back).

We have Facebook, where we can post drunken pictures of our weekend escapades, bitch about our relationships, post quotes that make absolutely no sense, link our friends to videos of cute little kittens popping out of boxes, and give play-by-plays of our day.  We even set up events and send out e-vites, which I might add, only decreases revenue for the federal government by reducing the supply and demand for postage stamps. 

What would the world be like in the 21^st century if we didn’t have Facebook?  Would we all run around with pictures of ourselves, grabbing people off the street to ask them if they like it?  Would we be devastated if that girl we sat next to in Spanish class in 10^th grade - our newest Facebook friend who we haven’t seen in 12 years – doesn’t like the pictures of us planking?  Ah… and now we get to the really good stuff!

WTF is planking?  I mean, I know WHAT it is.  But seriously people?  There is now a game where you take pictures of yourself in popular places or on odd objects (I’ve seen one with a guy planking on his lawn mower) while laying face down, arms at your sides.  So… we’re taking pictures of our rear ends?  Is this like Grand Theft Auto where you get points for hitting Grandma with the stolen ambulance?  Is there a point system to this planking game?

Now I’m sitting here ripping on the game of planking, yet just the other day I said to Mr. H., “You totally have to take a picture of me planking when we go to D.C.!”  To which he replies “WTF is planking?”  Exactly…

And so it begins...

Since this is my very first blog, I feel it’s important to define for you, my avid and dedicated readers, what you can expect from my blog.  Also, my personality dictates that I logically, and in an orderly fashion, set a foundation for my irrational behaviors and generally dry humor. 

As my blog title states, you can expect obsessive and compulsive tendencies to run rampant throughout my blogs.  I like to people watch, and stare, and I generally enjoy analyzing human behaviors.  Although I have not attained a degree in Sociology, I took one college course and have deemed myself an expert capable of studying and explaining social behaviors. 

I also tend to contemplate (some would say over-analyze) life - past, present, and future.  This is where the musings make their debut.  Some (ok, it’s from freedictionary.com) would say that contemplative thoughts are an “elegant tapestry of quotations, musings, aphorisms, and autobiographical reflections”.  You could loosely apply this definition to any of my future blogs if you said it with a hint of sarcasm… okay, maybe dripping in sarcasm. 

Many days I find myself contemplating the oddities of life and will arrive at a perfectly reasonable explanation.  Such as, what the hell is “planking” and why are people so eager to lie face down on the pavement and have someone take their picture, which is then immediately uploaded to Facebook through their smartphone where it gets 23 “likes” and 17 “comments” within 4 minutes.  (See my very next blog)  As such, I may share these oddities and explanations with you, effectively providing you disambiguation on the matter.  You will thank me someday…

Finally, retrospect.  I love to tell stories, especially from the “good ole’ days”.  I like to exaggerate, stretch the truth, what have you… and make the story my own.  This aspect of my blog is, as I expect, what you will enjoy the most.  At least my Mom will and, more than likely, she will be my only “avid and dedicated reader”.

Now that we have all of that out of the way, we can get down to business.  I initially thought I would tell you a little about myself.  However, Google had me fill out this whole profile thing, which you can view to the right, and I think I will leave it at that for now.  It’s probably best if you each develop your own vision of who I am by reading through my blogs.  It makes things more interesting that way…

I hope you enjoy my ramblings and thanks for reading!  Official blog #1 to follow…