There's something in the air...

I had a moment today... one of those moments where you feel a spark in the air and the hair on your arms stands on end.  It's that feeling of the holidays coming upon us.  I look around and see the leaves changing colors and floating to the ground.  The air is cool and crisp, just a little bit of bite so you know you need a coat.  In the early morning hours there is that sparkly layer of frost on the ground that warns us of winter on its way.

I love this time of year.  It seems to be the only time of year when people are truly and genuinely nice to one another.  We all get this bug that infects us with love and compassion and kindness.  People hold doors open for each other, and wave pedestrians across the crosswalk, and smile at passerby on the sidewalk.  This doesn't happen year round, although that would be nice.  

Holiday shopping begins and families are out and about celebrating and traipsing through the snow to peer in windows at beautiful decorations and listen to carolers.  I realize we haven't even celebrated Thanksgiving yet, but if you walk into Walmart right now you will be overun by Christmas decorations.  The sales are beginning and stores are preparing for the infamous Black Friday.  Department stores are already running continuous tracks of holiday music over their loudspeakers. 

I love walking through the mall, passing gift wrapping stations, and seeing kids bounce with excitement.  I love being in the crowded lines waiting to purchase my well-planned and thought out gifts.  I love spending an hour picking out gift wrap and bags and bows and ribbon.  I love decorating the tree and then sitting with my husband on the couch to take it all in.  I love watching him shake his head when I drag out all of the gifts that have to be wrapped and then obsessively wrap them as perfect as possible, only to watch them be ripped open weeks later.  I love the smell of the pretty holiday candles that we will burn for the next two months.

And I love that I can feel the excitement in the air that everyone else is feeling right now!

Our little lime

I read my cousin's blog today that she wrote to her 6 month old son Jon, and it was so sweet that it made me cry.  It also inspired me to write about our little one... or to our little one.

This is our first pregnancy and everything is changing.  We found out we were pregnant 8 weeks ago and are so ecstatic!  At the time, our baby was compared to a poppy seed.  My pregnancy app compares the baby to fruit and vegetable every week.  Now, our little one is the size of a lime.  That's crazy!  A lime is so tangible...  so definitive.  The one ultrasound that we had was at 8 weeks and our little one looked like a peanut, or a lima bean.  No definite limbs, just a shape and a heartbeat. 

I wish I could see our little one now.  Arms and legs are moving and flexible.  Eyes are fluttering.  My pregnancy app says that if I press on my belly, the baby will feel it and squirm.  I love that!  I love that I have this weird, little way of communicating with our little one.

So here is what I would say to our little one:

I love you so much, and you're not even here in our arms yet.  Your Daddy is beyond in love with you.  He looks at me differently now.  With this sense of awe and love that I've never seen before.  When I touch my stomach out of comfort, he gets this little smile on my face.  If I seem to be in pain, he immediately asks if I'm okay.  Always checking on me and keeping tabs on my condition.

When we lay in bed at night, he rubs my belly and I know he is thinking about you.  We talk about you a lot.  What you are going through as you grow big and strong.  What you will be like when you get here and what we will be like once we are parents.  We talk about what to name you, and how excited we are to finish your nursery, and your Daddy keeps telling me to stop buying stuff for you because we don't know yet if you're going to be a boy or a girl.  Mind filling me in so I can get back to Babies R Us?

We talk to your Grandparents about you and I'm always sending emails to your Grandma about what new fruit or vegetable we can compare you to.  Your aunt is pregnant right now too and she is having a little girl, so you will have a cousin that is almost the same age as you!  You're going to love everyone when you get here and everyone here already loves you.

I've been pretty emotional lately with all of the hormones surging through my system.  I hope my constant crying and anxiety hasn't been taking too much of a toll on you.  I'm trying really hard to take care of myself and you.  I hope I'm doing a good job...  I'm not supposed to be able to feel you moving around for another month or so, but anytime you feel like jabbing or kicking me, please feel free.  I will relish in it like nothing else. 

We love you little one!