July 29, 2011

Type F(acebook)-

I will admit that I'm addicted to Facebook.  And my smartphone.  And my Nook.  There should really be a 12-step program for people like me... with little chips that mark accomplishments, and little chants...

"God grant me the serenity to accept when chat doesn't work on Facebook, the courage to go 30 minutes without checking my messages, and the wisdom to know when to not upload that picture from the party last weekend that's on my smartphone."

We are such a socially anemic generation.  We can't get enough of the social network sites, smartphone applications or blogs (You wince because you are reading one now, but you know I’m right).  We have smartphones and tablets and crazy Apple devices, all of which link us inextricably to everything and anything our little hearts desire.  We might as well have little IV’s inserted in our arms with bags of Type F(acebook)- slowly dripping in.

We have smartphones with a million applications and widgets.  We can play Words with Friends (which I do religiously everyday) and Angry Birds (I really hate those damn green pigs…) and read books from our Nook (which I also do quite regularly).  In fact, I’m currently reading Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me and I must say, I love that classy broad!  Mr. H. regularly questions why I even have a Nook if I’m just going to read my books on my smartphone.  Well first of all Sir, you can’t have a Nook account on your smartphone without first purchasing a Nook and registering it.  So there… (imagine I’m sticking out my tongue like a 6 year old that just got away with shoving her sister behind her Mother’s back).

We have Facebook, where we can post drunken pictures of our weekend escapades, bitch about our relationships, post quotes that make absolutely no sense, link our friends to videos of cute little kittens popping out of boxes, and give play-by-plays of our day.  We even set up events and send out e-vites, which I might add, only decreases revenue for the federal government by reducing the supply and demand for postage stamps. 

What would the world be like in the 21st century if we didn’t have Facebook?  Would we all run around with pictures of ourselves, grabbing people off the street to ask them if they like it?  Would we be devastated if that girl we sat next to in Spanish class in 10th grade - our newest Facebook friend who we haven’t seen in 12 years – doesn’t like the pictures of us planking?  Ah… and now we get to the really good stuff!

WTF is planking?  I mean, I know WHAT it is.  But seriously people?  There is now a game where you take pictures of yourself in popular places or on odd objects (I’ve seen one with a guy planking on his lawn mower) while laying face down, arms at your sides.  So… we’re taking pictures of our rear ends?  Is this like Grand Theft Auto where you get points for hitting Grandma with the stolen ambulance?  Is there a point system to this planking game?

Now I’m sitting here ripping on the game of planking, yet just the other day I said to Mr. H., “You totally have to take a picture of me planking when we go to D.C.!”  To which he replies “WTF is planking?”  Exactly…

1 comment:

  1. Planking is out, girl. Owling is the new "in" thing. Didn't you know:D