Where did these emotions comes from?

OK... yes, I'm pregnant.  With that comes a flood of emotions never quite seen before by myself or my husband.  But when I'm the one feeling like I'm getting a little too emotionally needy for my husband to handle, it must be pretty bad. 

I cry about everything and anything.  What's worse... it feels good.  I get these little sinus headaches if I hold in tears.  It's painful and makes me feel worse.  So here I am feeling all emotional and I want to cry about everything that I just let it out instead of holding it in.

But my husband doesn't like it when I cry, so he tries to make me laugh or say things to cheer me up.  This is so sweet and endearing.  He is doing everything in his power to make me feel loved and beautiful and happy during this emotionally trying time.  He is amazing!  Which also makes me cry... out of happiness.  Then he just hugs me real tight and tells me to knock it off.

I wish that I could control this.  It's pretty annoying.  At first, it was just sad movie scenes that made me cry uncontrollably.  Well... not even really sad ones.  I cried at the end of Twilight the last time I watched it.  For gosh sakes people, Bella was so worried that Edward would leave her in the hospital.  How could you not feel for her?

So if any of you have any suggestions on how I can control these waterworks, please let me know.  I'm running out of kleenex people!

Our little lime

I read my cousin's blog today that she wrote to her 6 month old son Jon, and it was so sweet that it made me cry.  It also inspired me to write about our little one... or to our little one.

This is our first pregnancy and everything is changing.  We found out we were pregnant 8 weeks ago and are so ecstatic!  At the time, our baby was compared to a poppy seed.  My pregnancy app compares the baby to fruit and vegetable every week.  Now, our little one is the size of a lime.  That's crazy!  A lime is so tangible...  so definitive.  The one ultrasound that we had was at 8 weeks and our little one looked like a peanut, or a lima bean.  No definite limbs, just a shape and a heartbeat. 

I wish I could see our little one now.  Arms and legs are moving and flexible.  Eyes are fluttering.  My pregnancy app says that if I press on my belly, the baby will feel it and squirm.  I love that!  I love that I have this weird, little way of communicating with our little one.

So here is what I would say to our little one:

I love you so much, and you're not even here in our arms yet.  Your Daddy is beyond in love with you.  He looks at me differently now.  With this sense of awe and love that I've never seen before.  When I touch my stomach out of comfort, he gets this little smile on my face.  If I seem to be in pain, he immediately asks if I'm okay.  Always checking on me and keeping tabs on my condition.

When we lay in bed at night, he rubs my belly and I know he is thinking about you.  We talk about you a lot.  What you are going through as you grow big and strong.  What you will be like when you get here and what we will be like once we are parents.  We talk about what to name you, and how excited we are to finish your nursery, and your Daddy keeps telling me to stop buying stuff for you because we don't know yet if you're going to be a boy or a girl.  Mind filling me in so I can get back to Babies R Us?

We talk to your Grandparents about you and I'm always sending emails to your Grandma about what new fruit or vegetable we can compare you to.  Your aunt is pregnant right now too and she is having a little girl, so you will have a cousin that is almost the same age as you!  You're going to love everyone when you get here and everyone here already loves you.

I've been pretty emotional lately with all of the hormones surging through my system.  I hope my constant crying and anxiety hasn't been taking too much of a toll on you.  I'm trying really hard to take care of myself and you.  I hope I'm doing a good job...  I'm not supposed to be able to feel you moving around for another month or so, but anytime you feel like jabbing or kicking me, please feel free.  I will relish in it like nothing else. 

We love you little one!

Just another sparkly vampire

I’m going to sound like a complete hypocrite writing this blog, but that’s okay.  I know that I am addicted to vampire novels and I also recognize how ridiculous and repetitious they all are.

For example...

Teenage girl meets sparkly “teenage” boy.
Girl falls madly in love with sparkly boy after two days.
Boy exhibits super human abilities while saving girls’ life.
Girl is oblivious.
Girl meets boys family.
Girls finds out sparkly boy is a vampire.
Girl immediately wants to be a vampire too.

Danger.

Drama.

Lots of heavy petting.
Girl becomes vampire.
The end.

Everyone assumes that Twilight was the original teenage vamp series and every other author just copied Stephanie Meyer.  Unfortunately, this is wrong.  Twilight was just the first to hit Hollywood. in a big way  I have read vamp novels by other authors that seem to have very similar plots and sequences of events, however, the copyright is years before Twilight was even published.  And at first I thought I wouldn’t enjoy these books because they seem so similar, but I’m obviously just addicted to vamp novels... as I previously stated.

I just recently finished reading the Argeneau series by Lynsay Sands, courtesy of my best friend’s library, and I loved every book.  Right now, I’m reading the My Blood Approves series by Amanda Hocking.  Just when I get to a point and think “Gosh, this is just like what happened to Edward and Bella!” the author twists the plot just enough and I get engrossed once again.

I don’t really understand the fascination with vamp novels.  There are 40 year old women that have fallen in love with Jacob Black and Edward Cullen.  These teens, and I emphasize TEENS, strut out on the screen with no shirt on and the women in the audience shriek like they just won the Publisher’s Clearinghouse sweepstakes. 

And I also don’t understand why we so easily accept these silly female characters.  These girls are clumsy and ridiculous, and then they just decide after meeting a new sparkly boy that they want to be bitten and then drink blood forever.  Why aren’t these girls afraid?  Didn’t their parents ever teach them not to talk to strangers?  Or not to walk down those dark alley ways alone?  Or to RUN away when someone is chasing them?!?!

Regardless, I will continue to read these vamp novels and I will continue to go see their Hollywood adaptations in the theater... even when I’m 40 and shrieking at the 17 year old hearthrob that is playing the sparkly vamp boy!